by maipham

May 24, 2020

letter

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Dear mom and dad

First off, Merry Christmas to you guys. I love you guys.

I’m 18 years old now. Are you guys going to celebrate my birthday separately? By the way, thanks for the present. By present, I mean only one present. So you guys pick if it is either for Christmas or my birthday? So I’m still waiting for one more present. Lol, just kidding.

Today marks the day I officially become a man. 18 years old now. But I’m always your little boy. I know you always think like that, and you make me feel safe and protected. Everywhere I go. Every time.

Many times mom told me about the time we were staying in Vietnam, before moving to the USA. And that within the first couple years after you guys had me, mom and dad disagreed on a lot of stuff, including things about me. 

I know mom is a bookworm while dad is not so much. Mom wanted me to have early education, put me to daycare and kindergarten while dad wanted me to stay home. I know that when mom went to work, you always worried if dad talked to me, played with me or taught me anything. I know that when dad went out, you worried if mom could take care of me all by herself, if I made her too tired after a long day of work.

I’m sure you guys put a lot of effort in raising me. Dad had to stay at home and took care of me while mom went to work because mom had a more stable job. Good thing it only lasted for a few years before mom’s business bloomed and mom could work from home and be your own boss. 

Mom told me about when you guys got pregnant with me, you guys decided to buy a house, because you didn’t want to raise me in a rented apartment where I could see people drinking and smoking right outside the house. Mom didn’t say it to me but in your eyes, I know it was a difficult time for you. Debt, mortgages and being stuck in a job you hate overwhelmed you. But mom, everything was already behind us. You did an awesome job.

Dad told me about his most difficult decision, which was to stay in Vietnam for a few years after having me, or return to the USA to raise me. Having to leave my two brothers in the USA and stay in Vietnam, I know it was very hard for you dad. But dad, my two brothers all settled down and have their own families and we can hop in the car and pay them a visit anytime we want. Things worked out well for us dad.

I remember a few times mom told me about the year 2020, when there was a pandemic all over the world, and everything shut down. Your initial intention was to put me in daycare, so that I could get to learn Vietnamese quickly and dad could go to work. But then you guys were scared of me getting the virus, so I ended up staying home with daddy.

I know at that time, mom and dad thought about it over and over again, wondering if you made the right decision. 

But don’t worry too much. I actually turn out just fine.

Honestly I don’t remember it so well, but I do remember crawling on the floor and flipping through my books. Mom, you really bought me a lot of books. Maybe it’s a reason why I love reading so much today.

I think at that time, I still woke up and cried for mom at night when you weren’t in bed with me, and that’s why many times I woke up and I saw you sitting next to me, with your laptop on your lap. The light from the laptop surely bothered me mom, so I always came crawling on top of your lap and made you turn it off. 

And I think all the pictures daddy took of us, when you wrapped the blanket around you like a cocoon, and I put my head on your belly and sleep, are so adorable. 

I know I don’t look at those pictures as many times as mom and dad does, but when I do, I appreciate everything we went through, because they made me who I am today.

If I can fix the time machine quickly, I will go back through time to the year 2020, and tell you guys not to worry so much. Because with your love, nothing can go wrong. I’m always loved and protected.

As it is Christmas Day, and I don’t need a time machine to tell you guys this, I love you guys. 

Your 18 years old son

Ethan

About the author 

Mai Pham

Mai Pham discovered her passion for writing a few years ago and she never stop thinking about it ever since. She finally took the leap and created Live a Worthy Life to brag about her smart ass (mainly just for fun). Enjoyed the fun writing brings, now with her new interest in everything-baby-related, she created Mommy Instinct, to tell mamas that it's ok that they mess up, that they don't know what the hell they are doing, and that it's okay to sit back and relax for a while.

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