by maipham

November 4, 2021

my son got hurt

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My son was at the playground of the vaccination center, chasing after the ball.
Two bigger boys jumped in front of him and started hitting the ball and took it with them. My son ran after them, bumped into a rocking horse, bled his lips, and cried his lungs out.
I was 2 feet away from him, and I watched everything.
I had good intentions though.
I intended to let him play with other kids so that he could learn a thing or two about social interactions.
I intended to let him fall and get back up on his own feet.
I intended to let him learn how to cope with the environment so that he could be independent.
I intended to let him play with other kids so that he would learn how to work with other people.
I intended to let him do whatever he wanted and learned from his lessons.
I intended not to overprotect him so that I would not cut his wings and smash his dreams by ignorance.
I intended…
And his cry woke me.
Why would I stand there and watch him chase after those boys, even though they were much bigger than him?
Why would I watch him fall and get hurt?
Why wouldn’t I protect him until he is big enough to protect himself?
Why would I let things like that happen?

Did I love him enough? If I do, what was I thinking?
That night, I lay on the bed and watched my son sleeping, I was consumed with mom guilt.
And I questioned myself. What should I do now?
Follow the books I read about children interactions, child development, and just let my son be? Allow him to fall and get back up? Let him possibly get hurt and learn his lesson?
Or should I protect him from the world, never allow anything to touch him so that he will never get hurt?
Should I take him away when other kids take his ball? Should I take the ball back for my son on his behalf? Should I intervene in the children's game to make sure my son gets the best part?
Do I worry about my son’s development when keeping my son away from other kids?
I do. So I should allow him to play with other kids.
Do I worry about my son getting sick or getting hurt because of that?
I do. So I should not allow my son to play with other kids.
There is an endless list of questions in my head, concerning my parenting if I’m doing the best thing for my son.
Raise a warrior or raise a prince?
Tough question. Even I have different answers on different days.

About the author 

Mai Pham

Mai Pham discovered her passion for writing a few years ago and she never stop thinking about it ever since. She finally took the leap and created Live a Worthy Life to brag about her smart ass (mainly just for fun). Enjoyed the fun writing brings, now with her new interest in everything-baby-related, she created Mommy Instinct, to tell mamas that it's ok that they mess up, that they don't know what the hell they are doing, and that it's okay to sit back and relax for a while.

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  1. It’s difficult, because I understand that you don’t want to coddle him too much and prevent him from knowing what the “real” world is all about.
    I giggle to myself because I think I would have taken the ball back and given the other kids a horrible glare, but like you say…what am I teaching him, that there aren’t mean people in the word and mom will always be there to take the hurt away. Look, I would LOVE that, to always make him feel safer and like he has me to fight his battles…but he needs to learn how strong he is within himself and I need to allow him to find out who he is and he might surprise me with his reaction. I try and let him lead the way.

    Maybe explain that not everyone is like those boys, but we have to be aware that there are kids (people) like that in the world, that we shouldn’t allow them to shake us up. Give that little boy a kiss on the forehead mamma, wipe the blood from his lip, put some ice on it and let him know that no matter what you will always try to be there for him and that there are kids his age that will happily play ball with him.

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